OM AXV 27 – 39 London Japanese

A great game contested at the right spirit which is always the way in the most fun game of the year. Going into the game with makeshift backs was always going to be a big ask which wasn’t helped by losing last week’s man of the match Nick Leakey to injury early on. Other players hobbled off with the result that the rapid Japanese made the most of time and space to score out wide which is what they do.
Man of the match was Tom Leach. Plucked from law school, he scored a try and made his presence felt in all the key areas. Great performances as always from Duncan Wilson,Charlie and the twins. Josh C recovered from the reeling scrum at Chesham to assert himself in our advancing scrum. He has been unfairly described, as far as his appearance but not his playing ability fortunately, as Gidders without the grey Biggles scrum hat. Fraser excelled at hooker as his famous ‘ Don’t f with me or my team mates glare’ may be effective at warding off behemothic bullies in forwards but is not so effective at frightening rapid Japanese backs who just run away from it before he sets his eyes on them. So Fraser, your shirt number remains low for now.
It is the champagne moment (possible of the season) that will dominate this report. It even outdoes the famous Paul Wyllie chip kick and try from our last match. It doesn’t happen very often so the writer needs to be forgiven for a) Milking every moment out of it and b) a tendency towards slight exaggeration.
From a Japanese kick the author and worst rugby player ever to grace the planet (referring to myself of course!) caught the ball one handed on the 22, did a somersault, backflip and chip kick and retrieved the ball, beating three men with a sidestep and turn of pace. On reaching halfway, he called an arrow ball, that moved close to touch and totally deceived his teammates with a ghost followed by a razor. With only 5 men left to beat and Paul Wyllie screaming for a pass, he left a trail of Japanese bodies in his wake as he sauntered to the line, finishing up with a swallow dive.
Perhaps this may be a mild stretching of the truth here. A bit of poetic licence. The only time I ever get to touch a ball during a game is throwing in at lineouts. However from an opposition lineout , the ball bounced kindly in my hands and I ran towards the line and the 2 people I wanted most to be forcing me over the line to score were the first to be there, you know who you are, Paul W and Fraser. It wasn’t just those two. It was the whole team pushing me over the line and I felt the love as the ball nestled between my belly and the grass. Despite the protests, the referee asserted, ‘if I see Gidders belly over the ball, there is no way a Japanese hand could get under that so I have to award the try!’ Not even Fraser, the famous try stealer, attempt to place his hands under my girth to try and claim that one. The whole team then proceeded to dive on top of me to celebrate the champagne moment of the season!!!! Alex Boyles then uttered in his deadpan Northern way- ‘ If one touch of the ball gets you one try, perhaps if you touch the ball ten times, you may score ten tries- Only PRH can claim the one to one ratio of ball carries to scores.
You expected me to make the most of my moment and I hope I haven’t disappointed here! Back to the match. After that , I’ve forgotten the rest.
Mabulla Mabulla Mabulla Ha

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