Letchworth 0 – OMs (somewhat more than that)

New tactic for away games. Give the players the wrong postcode, get them to drive to a cow field and arrive late for kick off. The home opposition usually gets too tired in the warm up having gone through their drills for the hundredth time and have knackered themselves out with some pre-match touch so when we eventually arrive on the pitch seemingly underprepared, they seem to switch off!! It worked against Hatfield (with 4 scores up in 20 minutes) and it definitely worked against Letchworth courtesy of a brace from Alex Spencer-Hope who, despite looking like a mad scientist especially with those goggles – literally listened to Chris Roycroft’s subliminal advice which was ‘to run around them because you wont run through their 10 and 12 who are the only ones doing the tackling’. Alex S-H dually obliged , using his aerodynamic frame to good effect, outpacing the opposition as well as his own team to make sure there was only going to be one winner.

Chief exponent of the lateness strategy was our man of the match Zak Teichman who has the coolest name in social rugby!! – A name like that he should be on TV. He left his mouthguard at home and needed to get a cab back to retrieve it describing his ‘special teeth’ as the reason why he couldn’t buy another one. So Zak ‘Special Teeth ‘ Teichman-sounds even cooler just put us on the front foot all the time, gaining yards and smashing into opposition creating opportunity after opportunity. He manages prickly sports stars in his job – ie getting paid to take footballers into nightclubs and rescuing them from scandals so subtlety and tact are required-He showed none of that on Saturday and saved his best game for his entourage who made sure he took Ming’s dirty pint punishment with aplomb!

Ming, at the ripe old age of 57, stormed into our dressing room shouting’Gidders, I have retired and you are making me play you ****!!!-I hate you for this!!!!!- Ming is a Letchworth legend and an all purpose good guy! He didn’t want to play and needed persuasion’ He even got the biggest rugby player in the world ‘Biggles’ who is probably heavier than a whole pack of forwards combined to play. Biggles, like me, a tighthead loves to scrum and his participation in the match ended when champagne moment winner Jake Splugg knocked him over , defying the laws of physics! Jake had a superb game with energy and involvement and just pipped Alex S-H for the other drinking award which he bravely handed over to try-scoring Truman Ennals to take his punishment.

Great performances allround and cannot go through each one here.

Tom Roycroft is rapidly becoming the heartbeat of the team. He is the right combination of skill and fun which is so needed. Always plays with a sense of humour and never takes himself too seriously he totally embraces the culture. Its like a return to the crazy gang mentality that I have always wanted a team to have and with Fraser’I will do anything to score’ , Pany ‘Hairy bum’ ,Alex’ the rapid scientist’ S-H, Zak ‘Special teeth’Teichman ,Paul ‘Motivational speaker’ Wyllie, Rob ‘anytime,anyplace, anywhere’ Bevan, Samoan(anything you like) and Jeremy’Top two inches’ Graves, Rob’free spirit’ Morris, Kevin’exeat pass’ KK, Blazej’ I do own a pair of trousers’ ,Iulian ‘ Mr commitment’, managed on the day by Chris Roycroft who doesn’t take himself at all seriously and PRH , a Man of unfinished sentences and words. I feel that we are re-creating the special magic and uniqueness that characterises this team.

We still are short in 2 areas for the rest of the season-A regular second row and loosehead. We have 2 home games coming up over half term and we need to be organised for that – I will be away and will hand over to PRH, Jeremy, Pany and Tom Roycroft. I will be giving email instructions during the week.

MABULLA MABULLA MABULLA HA!!!!

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